Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Loosing Touch

I was sitting here contemplating what to blog about. At first I came up with "Profanity", then I realized I'd already explored that back with the whole "Smurf" discussion. Next I came up with an idea called "A Swift Kick to the Head", but I wan't sure what it was going to be about, so I scratched that title. Then I thought "Emory" or "My Brothers Are Awesome!" , but the first one didn't make much sense, and the second one is so obvious as to be unnecessary. I ended up with the title "Loosing Touch" mostly because as I think back over my history as a blogger, I think that I've lost touch with what it means to blog. I noticed that Jon is over there with a truly interesting serial approach to blogging which is captivating and entertaining. What in the world is he doing?! I though the whole point of this internet crap was to waste as much of other people's time as possible. I like the idea of attempting to waste as much time in as little time as I can. "Waste Efficiency" is what I like to call it. Like this blog for example, everyone who is reading it is expecting, at least is hoping for some thoughtful insights, a word of wisdom, maybe a humorous story, and then a nice tidy conclusion. Well let me tell you; you'll get none of that here today. Perhaps next time I'll try to be funny, or maybe I'll share something that's been on my mind for a while, but today you get this and only this.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

I know I'm not alone in this, but I think the iphone is the coolest single electronic device to come down the pike in the last thirty years. What pisses me off is this; why the high cost for cool? Why can't cool be affordable? Of course this thought reminds me of that part in "Fight Club" where Brad Pitt is taking Ed Norton to task for allowing possessions to define him. Why do I think the iphone is so cool? Why do I want one so badly? Why? I could give you the geeky, techno answer; phone, video ipod, internet device, touch screen, etc... Perhaps it's the automatic status symbol, the fact that they are expensive and so unnecassary. I was talking to Peter the other day, and what he said is that he's been intentionally holding out on buying any ipod, because he thought eventually they would come out with a combo device. For him, if he's got to carry a cell phone, he might as well have an integrated ipod so that he's not adding a device to his already full pockets. The news that the baseline iphone costs $500, and then on top of his current AT&T service he'd have to pay $20/month just to use his iphone (that's $240/year or $480/2 year contract) bringing the total for an iphone over two years to almost $1,000. Then you factor in that Peter is really hard on cell phones, currently his outer display doesn't work, the camera takes pictures that look like they're underwater, and there is a fine layer of dust inside the main display. Anyways, my point is that if he's going to buy another cell phone it better be a little more hardy than the one he's already got, and perhaps the iphone isn't the way to go. So it's expensive, it's flimsy, it's a glaring example of materialsim, plus it's super lame. Maybe I don't want an iphone after all.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Snowflake

I was just reading Peter's most recent post. He said something about how all kids are different, and that really irritated me. Where does someone get off making a blanket statement like that. That's almost as bad as suggesting that no two snowflakes are alike. Trillions and trillions of snowflakes have fallen in just the past week. Has anyone compared even a small percentage of those snowflakes? Personally I would suggest that there are probably only like ten or fifteen different snowflake patterns, and all snowflakes are almost exactly alike. Seriously, scientists are like the laziest bunch of people on the planet, posssibly even in the universe. I can imagine the discussion that took place durring a recent textbook creation session: (although I really hate to use the word "creation" around scientists).

Scientist 1. "Hey, when we make this next chapter, the one about patterns and all that crap, maybe we should start out by using the Snowflake Analogy."

Scientist 2. "That's a great one! Isn't it amazing how there are no two snowflakes alike, ever?!

Scientist 3. "Ya! I've never seen two of the same snowflake."

Scientist 1. "Neither have I."

Scientist 2. "Nor have I, so that means it must be true, we defintely should include the Snowflake Analogy!"

I think I've made my point abundantly clear. So if there is definitive proof that most snowflakes are almost exactly the same, then we must conlude that there are a bunch of children exactly the same too. When you see your kid make that cute scrunchy look with her nose, just remember, you're not alone.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Best Movie of the Year

I talked this one over with Peter, I was like "hey man, I don't want to like poach on your territory or anything, but there's this sweet movie coming out that I want to talk about!" Peter was like "It's you're blog dude, just do whatever you want, I don't give a..." Well I could kind of tell that this irratated him, but I know he doesn't like talking about movies until he's seen them, so I was like "Pete, you don't mind if I call you Pete right? I'm going to write about this movie whether you like it or not. You need to pull it together and realize other people have opinions too." Needless to say, he stomped off and I think he's still pouting, what's you going to do, right...

"Black Snake Moan" is a great idea. Hopefully the actual movie delivers on the promise of the trailer. Samuel L. Jackson picks up where his Jules Winfeild character from "Pulp Fiction" left off... An older man, living a quiet life in the rural south steps outside one day to find a troubled young woman in need of help. Perhaps the trailer gives too much away, but it sure seems like an original idea, and what better casting could you ask for?

My guess is that opening day, Peter will be at the theater, and soon thereafter you'll get some long winded review on how he was dissapointed because the lighting reminded him more of "Reservior Dogs" than "Pulp Fiction"... I'll be like "Get a life Pete, that movie was awesome, stop being such a square (as I draw a square with my two index fingers in the air).